The Lord has come through time and time again in my life that I don't ever see until the experience is over. This time the mire felt to be so consuming that the light on this one trial didn't seem to shine. But, I continued in faith because I know the Lord, I know that I continually work to keep my covenants and am in a persistent state of improving through Him and through faith in Him.
This trial came to a peak yesterday when school had not come through with something that was supposed to be done last Thursday. But, I continued to pray and little things kept happening. The school thing didn't. After a long day of seeming dead ends and frustration and fear and doubt, I said a prayer on the train:
Lord I believe, help thou my unbelief.
Now it feels more like a fervent plea. I had tried absolutely everything I knew and didn't want to burden anyone other than the Lord with this trial. But, I came home and my awesome roommate was sitting on the couch and we talked. And the conversation came to this trial, the stress it was causing my spirit and mind, the fears and doubts. But the hope I had because I knew I was still doing the right things. (not everything was said by me but inferred by her through some reluctant tears on my part) She bore testimony of the truthfulness of what she felt was happening and what was coming for me. I am so grateful for that, her words. Then she and another friend's offered kindness made me cry. The generosity and sheer capability for love and care from friends took me off guard. They were willing to care for me. :)
This morning as things began to be worked out with school, my roommate offered to help me with one other part of my trial. It took prayers and all day for me to accept the help (pride can be a beast to overcome). But I am so extremely grateful for the kindness she has shown.
As this trial is starting to work itself out through prayers and faith and trust; humility and gratitude are becoming personal results.
There are people placed in our lives to help us along our tremendous journeys. They can be family, friends, acquaintances and strangers. We play these roles in people's lives all the time! I am just so thankful that my amazing friend and roommate is here and willing to talk and be open to help and offer and care and share her strength when I was at my seeming end last night. Thank you again.