Monday, December 30, 2013

"If those committed to the quest fail, they will be forgiven. When lost, they will find another way. The moral imperative of humanism is the endeavor alone, whether successful or not, provided the effort is honorable and failure memorable.."

- E. O. Wilson

Monday, December 23, 2013

Hurts from the fall. Strength in the rise?

I had a slip the other day. It had to deal with my food addiction. I've examined it, figured out where it came from and am doing my best to address it so that I can move forward in a positive manner. At first I was devastated. How could this happen? How could I mess up? Then I remembered my self-talk. I changed it into positive self-talk. How will I get through this? What can I learn? I am strong enough to make it to the next moment. That is what I do. Self-talk. It gets me through the white-knuckle moments. Hopefully I am able to be stronger.

I've found that as my old stress outlet has been annihilated (yay!), this one is being wiped in progress; that stress hurts. Stress hurts in so many ways. It hurts my mind as I race through and try to combat whatever is up there. It hurts my body as I fight physical temptations and work to move forward. It hurts my heart as it comes from every direction in every form.

The hurt is only ever filled for me by the love of my Savior, Jesus Christ. Sometimes when I am seeking to be healed I find that the healing is where the real strength is found.

Then I received my e-mail that I get from and Tommy Rosen. I copied and pasted the text of the e-mail into this blog post. I love the strength and support that I have found from this recovery group.

Just A Little Nervous From the Fall

"Dear Friend,

Kintsukuroi is the Japanese art of fixing broken pottery through the use of a lacquer resin sprinkled with gold powder to mend the broken pieces back together.  At some point in the 15th Century, the Japanese started to employ this technique.  Collectors everywhere started to clamor after these repaired pieces because they were seen to be much more beautiful than the originals.

Kintsukuroi artists became known not so much for their ability to make things as good as new, but instead to render them better than new.  The piece is considered more beautiful for having been broken.  Looking at a potted bowl, for example, as having life force, many would say that the bowl's "energy" was finished the moment it was dropped or broken. From the Kintsukuroi perspective the true life of the bowl actually began the moment it was dropped.  

Such is the case for people on the path of recovery from addiction.  My dear friend Nate puts it like this, "We come to this path shattered, fragmented pieces of ourselves.  The actions and substances we have taken in an effort to feel whole and complete are the very things that have left us in this broken state. We need to find something that will actually mend the broken pieces. Something real. Something powerful."  
What is to be our golden lacquer?  We are put back together using the gold powder of the 12-Steps, yoga, meditation, connection with a higher power and being of service to others.  These are the elements that make up the beautiful golden lacquer of the path of recovery.  When we use these tools as the golden glue in which to mend our broken pieces, something incredible happens. We become transformed, not just into the entity we once were, but into an entirely new being more beautiful than what the original could have been.
When we look in the mirror, our cracks are still there, filled in now with unique golden lines.  We see them more clearly.  We know where we have been and we are better now for having been there.  We have been fragile like a china doll.  "Just a little nervous from the fall," is how Robert Hunter put it.  In recovery, we have combined our fragility with resilience and love to find a life of such richness that before we could never have imagined...A powerful lesson for us all on the difficult and magical path of recovery.

With Love and Gratitude,
Tommy Rosen"

Thursday, December 19, 2013

Nothing More

I have been thinking A LOT lately about the difference between just doing something and being something. This song resonated with my thoughts and feelings. Hope you enjoy!

"Nothing More" The Alternate Routes

To be humble, to be kind. 
It is the giving of the peace in your mind.
To a stranger, to a friend
To give in such a way that has no end.

We are Love
We are One
We are how we treat each other when the day is done.
We are Peace
We are War
We are how we treat each other and Nothing More

To be bold, to be brave.
It is the thinking that the heart can still be saved
And the darkness can come quick
The Dangers in the Anger and the hanging on to it.

We are Love
We are One
We are how we treat each other when the day is done.
We are Peace
We are War
We are how we treat each other and Nothing More

Tell me what it is that you see
A world that's filled with endless possibilities?
Heroes don't look like they used to, they look like you do.

We are Love
We are One
We are how we treat each other when the day is done.
We are Peace
We are War
We are how we treat each other and Nothing More

Saturday, December 14, 2013

grad school is for fighters

Grad school is teaching me how to be a fighter for all the good reasons. 

Things worked together so well this week after some pulling and prodding. I have spent all semester working on my MP, basically a thesis but a little less formal. I have gone through ups and downs with its status and subject matter. I've almost quit a few times. But this week showed that fighting for your purpose and support from friends and family can be a great strength. 

I'll be in Rexburg working on this project for about a week and a half in January. It felt like nothing was progressing because of some obstacles here in Boston. But this past week everything began to align coming from Rexburg. Then on Thursday things in Boston began to work together and I turned in my proposal to the IRB yesterday. 

Relief flooded in and even though I still have two papers and a work assignment to complete I feel like a weight is lifted. I know the rush and stress will come again but I am enjoying today. 

...and enjoying this website my friend Kara showed me last night. 

Enjoy for some laughter:

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

$1000 Health Challenge - 28 Days of Fatburn


Join a team – Lose weight – Get healthy - Earn points towards winning multiple $1000 prizes!
Spark your New Years Resolution with a FREE personal health coach, a team to support you, and a big prize!
Prizes will be awarded for weight loss AND living the habits of health. So feel free to join even if you are already at a healthy weight.
Start date is January 6th and your free consultation must be complete before that date to qualify.

So what's next?
1) Join the event!
2) "Share" The Event
3) Get in touch with me to set up a Free consultation. I can give you the details and see if you qualify. Send me a fb message or email 

The challenge doesn't begin until January 6th, but there is no time like the present to make a healthier and more balanced life a reality for yourself and your loved ones.

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Sometimes wisdom comes from your professor kindly looking at you saying, "It's about how you take the punch & get back up. You are smart enough. You can do this."