Tuesday, January 21, 2014

She's You

"I promise its worth it to meet her. She's you...only better." Someone told me this tonight and it reminded me of the video that started me down the health transformation I have been on.

She's me...only healthier, more balanced and willing to wade into uncomfortable places to grow.

My support system has grown and evolved with me over the past 14 months as so many changes have happened. They have changed especially this past year as I have changed and lost so much weight. But I have gained a life of strength, vitality, peace, faith and love. Its hard almost all the time, but isn't anything worthwhile hard?

I am going to take tomorrow to sit with my journal for a few minutes and read the conversation I had with myself. From January 2013 to January 2014. My journey is far from over, optimal health I am coming! But this start has been life-changing.

Sunday, January 12, 2014

path, purpose and meaning

With this new year and new things happening, I've been thinking back on almost 25 years of life. More specifically I have been thinking back on people and places of the past 5 years.

I have been thinking about paths. All my life I have had distinct paths laid out, choose this and these things will or should follow. I've been really good at that. When I was 8, I was looking at graduate schools and planning a future that looks nothing like where I am now.

I was watching a vlog on gabbyb.tv the other day on purpose and she said something so familiar yet profound. She suggested stop trying to control the search for purpose in your life. Trust that the experiences you are being given, the people in your life are all what are supposed to be. Those things that are coming to you are what make your purpose. But get outside of yourself and trust those things. They aren't all going to be good. Goodness, most probably won't. But they all will be for your benefit in one way or another.

As I wrote down what I heard from Gabby's vlog there, I felt it applied to path as well. That we don't choose our path as much as our path chooses us. Our little everyday choices help to guide where we go. Some big decisions also guide us. However, I feel that our path finds us. We may come into something that fills our souls in a way we haven't been fulfilled before. It may be more realistic for us, may be more true, harder, yet our path.

I have felt that over this past year and a half. My path has found me. Through little choices it still evolves but it becomes more true and right for me. It is hard, but life is suffering. :)

So my reflection for the morning would have to be, don't search for these things: path, purpose and meaning. They find you while you are living. They find you and that makes the discovery all the more meaningful. As my friend's blog is so aptly titled, sometimes the journey is the journey.