Monday, September 7, 2015

trials and goodness



Monday, September 7, 2015
Hey Family and Friends!

It's been a long two weeks...well two months. Lots of good and lots of
learning!

This week we have been working super hard! Serving, loving, striving
to move about and get to know new parts of our area. We have seen a
bit of success and have come home more tired each night than the night
before. Sister Stebar is really a phenomenal person. I am so lucky to
get to have her in my life right now. :) Everyone we are teaching is
doing pretty well right now. Definitely seeking more work in one of
our wards and we feel the Lord is guiding us.

Now the learning: before I left to come on my mission I asked a friend
who recently came home what it was like. And she described it as a
rose bush. The closer you are the more you just see the thorns, the
farther you move away the more you see the beauty of the whole thing.
That has become so true. Over and over again I find myself caught in a
thorn patch and lose sight of the rose right beside me.
This past weekend Aug 28-31 was one of those. So I've been super sick
for a little over two months now. Gone to the Dr 3 times and the ER
once. We can't find anything wrong. And that weekend I got caught in
the fear and despair that comes so easily to the natural man. This
whole time I had been having faith. In the Lord's time, something
would happen. I had hope in the atonement to grant me the strength to
get through each day sufficiently. I was moving forward with faith in
the Savior and the power of the priesthood blessings I have received
over the past few months.
But I let fear creep in. In a moment of pain physically and
emotionally I buckled and fell. I wanted to be angry at God. At
myself. At the mission. At the people surrounding me. But when it was
all said and done I realized that in that bitter moment, God was the
one comforting me. He had provided the strength to get through the
previous days and days since. He was the one with His arm around me
first and always. And what reason could I be angry with myself? For
weakness? Weaknesses have a divine purpose. The mission? It is
refining me and defining me. It's my choice to see the blessing each
day. And the people around me? They were the ones there, in that
moment when I fell and through the weekend while I still waited for
results. Still sorted out the news I was getting. People, friends must
be God's angels He brings into our lives when He can't physically be
here. He has blessed me with quite a few Angels made in this life,
some recently and some from long before. I am grateful for each one of
them.
My health is still an experience. But I have faith that the Lord is
working it out. As I do my part, move forward and reach out when I
need it. Since last weekend I have felt a growing sense of peace I
only know comes from the Lord.
As for this moment. I am choosing to nurture and cultivate the hope I
have because that gets me through far more. Cultivate faith, hope and
charity and there will be far more peace in your life! Even if you
don't feel well. :)

I love you ALL.

Sister Walter