I saw one of those pictures on Facebook last night that has a dark background and then just the words "Not This" were in the middle of it. As I read through the description the writer, Elizabeth Gilbert, went on to describe moments in our life where we may wake up and find ourselves saying "not this." It could be in a struggling relationship, friendship, job or personally where you wake up and just see something you never expected or wanted happening in your life. Your path going in a completely different path than you anticipated before. And you just need to get out of it or you will be stuck there living the same moments and same regrets over and over.
In some ways through my life I have definitely had those moments. Whether it was with addiction, toxic relationships, being stagnant or having weight problems. I found myself pleading not now, not again, not this?! Why. The best things that have ever happened when I have found myself in those places is leaving. It is scary. There is so much anxiety with it. But I have had 3 big moves on my own when I have been able to leave the situation and build more on the positive within me. Create who I want to be. And instead of dreading the not this it becomes a chance to say what next?
In the end she said that though we may not know what's wrong with the now. We do know it is not this and the bravest words we can say are WHAT Comes next?
So while I am in the midst of a consistent stream of what next moments. I know you are too. That is the most beautiful and most terrifying part of this life. Leave the past behind and move. Find the next part. Be open to whatever it may be. Allow yourself moments of grief and weakness. Be vulnerable. And in those times, the strength will come.